Conflict And The Enemy Within Marriage Life

Marriage in this world nothing is free from problems. Problems can come from within and from outside the marriage itself. The quality is not always the same problem in every marriage, there are mild some are difficult to resolve. There was even a marriage which foundered amid the trip, having split with the road to divorce. Of course this is due to the nature of the ego of human beings, limitations as human beings who have a deficiency and excess, and the degradation of quality of human life from time to time let alone the lives that may be spelled out by the end of this era.

The problem of conflict

Conflict in married life can not be avoided, all the families who have been married must have experienced and can even be said to deal with conflict is part of married life. Just how do I deal with and resolve conflict in the household who is an art in the life of the wedding.

Human life is in constant change with time and development of the era. It is therefore natural that in interacting with our neighbors often clash or conflict, because of differences occur. Conflict can be defined as a situation where two or more people live close together and intersect each other. Moreover, if not since married couples living under the same roof with us, of course going to be easy going conflict, even fights.

In fact the conflict is not a sin, but to bear sin, if not addressed creatively. So what should be done let this conflict is not brought into sin, how?

First, understand the causes of the conflict itself

   1. The big difference in men and women in each body cell. Differences in chromosome combination is the main cause of the emergence of the changing nature of masculinity with femininity.
   2. In some cases women have important functions that are not owned by men, for example, during menstruation, pregnancy and lactation. This affects the behavior and feelings, of course men do not.
   3. Most women talk more use of feelings, but men talk more using a ratio.
   4. Differences family background and social environment that shape the personality of each before they bind themselves in a marriage.
   5. The difference is the nature of temperament they have luggage.
   6. Differences in terms of spiritual maturity, when a fellow believer, but it might be different in terms of confidence of faith.

In the family, conflict can also occur because there are enemies that can only arise within the family itself and from outside the family. Enemies include:

   1. The intervention of a third party, usually in-law or brother-in-law.
   2. Not having a family ancestry that causes it to feel empty and unhappy.
   3. Poverty or doubtful debts due to errors in financial processing.
   4. Between hope and belief that is not appropriate (like a car, house, luxurious furnishings other income would not comply with expectations).
   5. Pornography, gambling addict and alcoholic and drug user.
   6. Infidelity.
   7. Personal hobby that ignores family responsibilities.
   8. Use the power of darkness.

Second, how to deal with it.

When husband and wife have discovered what makes the conflict and recognize the enemy it faces marriage, then husband and wife should start talking openly, begin to learn to receive and assess any intrinsic differences in female and male. Husband and wife at least provide a special time to get to know and understand each other more deeply.

So if there is a conflict should be discussed as soon as possible and finish it before the conflict dragged into a more serious problem. Remember the occurrence of conflict in marriage is a process of self-recognition and a good understanding of each individual but also a place to process maturity in thinking, speaking and acting against the couple.

Third, pray and full surrender to God.

In the face of conflict in prayer at least will bring better to fix the problem, it's not impossible prayer of the righteous will be a big power to be granted.

Conclusion

It needs to be done to help a troubled marriage in the face of conflict or face the enemies of marriage and the differences that exist. Step what to do?

    * With him, by way of an advisor or mentor in the settlement of the problem and review it based on religious principles.
    * Build a healthy spiritual life and a harmonious family communication and open. Invite the family to pray together. Household so that it can survive in the face of shocks and strong through difficult times.
    * Begin the household help on how to behave proactively in dealing with the problem based on the principles of faith.
    * Inviting doing positive activities which in turn can help them in solving domestic problems.

The important thing is there is intention and change attitudes, then the problem of weighing anything, anything as complex or the difference principle which, although very much would be overcome with good. Most of this failure is not the desire for mutual forgiveness and humility

By naked I will come out

To be able to live a heavy with a light step, my mother always held the philosophy, "If the money runs out is not a problem, the new fortune will come, beard that has been shaved off, it will grow back!"

A man leaves his house with an angry heart, he walked without a clear purpose. Financial condition is very difficult because while he is unemployed. While the neighbor was  buying needs tertiary, he was still struggling to figure out how to meet basic needs of his family.

When walking the streets of the quiet, his eyes saw a coin. Having look, it was just an ancient coin. He took it and at the instigation of the bank officials had met, he brought to the collector of ancient money. Old money collectors buy coins that three hundred thousand rupiah. He was so happy and thinking about what he'll do against the money. When passing a wood shop, he saw several pieces of good quality wood that's on sale. He intends to make some shelves with wood that will be bought. Then the man's go home while carrying the wood, but the footsteps stopped when passing through a furniture workshop. Garage owner was interested in the timber he was carrying and are willing to pay for the wood for five hundred and fifty thousand rupiah, or exchange it with the ready-made furniture. He was then interested in a cabinet which he so desired wife, and he also chose to swap timber with the cupboards earlier. With a borrowed wagon furniture shop owner said, he took the cabinet to her home. On the way stopped walking when a woman who was decorating her new home greeted him, and wanted to buy a closet for nine hundred thousand rupiah. The man agreed and even then it returns the borrowed wagon and headed home with his family desperately needed money. When close to his home, he stops to count back money that is his pocket but suddenly someone robbed all the money using  motorcycle step run without any hurt. The man's wife accidentally saw the robbery incident and immediately ran up to him and said, "Sir, what happened? You are okay right? What people had taken Sir? "The man smiled and said:" O. .. nothing , just an ancient coin that I found this morning. "

Hmmhh .... How many we have received during the days we've been through? Perhaps the most we can tube, but partly because of economic loss even more difficult.

Piece of the story was really fit with what I just read this afternoon with a word. "With the naked I will go out of my mother's womb", naked also I'll be back into it. At least my heart is only attached to the Lord, not to the property, because I believe He was responsible for maintaining the people who loved me ...

And I always will be grateful for the blessings and pet all my life. And then I put my life into His hands..

LOVE

Talking about love, surely everyone agrees, Love in a simple understanding is the intention of a living subject to give special attention to the subject of another life. Because the greatness of love, though one of them should stand as an object, but both can act as the subject .. The rule language can be ignored for a moment.

The so-called living subject is a human being normally or commonly called HUMAN. But often heard people say a pair of pigeons are making love. So that love actually is not a human monopoly.

In the Indonesian language, people often argue among love, love and affection. Those who are demanding romantic couple, do not just enough with love and affection. Love seemed to have higher positions of other actors more favor such love and affection to give formula in a family, or behavior that is run in a society when a person or the community want to express out his heart to other communities. While scientists had come up with another language, for them, love and affection have a gradation, a knowledge of the plume, which is imported from the other side.

But certainly when you're working, there will be a love, and there is a loved one, whether entered into reciprocal or not.

This time it was talking about was love at work in human beings. Tracing the knowledge of experts, in which he said eros lowest gradation, when a balance, then they are subject, because when "I LOVE YOU" goes according to expectations, it means getting a reply, it will happen "YOU LOVE ME" are also pronounced I LOVE YOU. One of them just really only becomes an object only, if there is such thing imbalance. I love you not get a reply. Love walked in one direction. There is no "subject to subject". There is an object but instead subjects that suffer.

While the behavior of philia love in the context of Indonesian nationhood today, need to get the reflection with a variety of questions that sued.

In practice, if there is a defense for the sake of a love, society is difficult to accept if it is truly an application of love.

A person or group of people who practice love by giving assistance to another person or group of people, it is questionable why really want to help and so forth. A sincere defense of his colleague, also questioned what the motivation anyway undisclosed.

Because in fact, many people do prefer to be the object. By doing something, hopefully not the subject of the perpetrator, but instead hopes to become the object of attention of many, so if it comes to sincerity of love, people no longer trust him.

When and how love can really be accepted as love, and did it purely as a subject, is a question that needs an answer